


Schadenfreude

by Canarii



Series: Time Will Crawl [1]
Category: Ashes to Ashes, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-07
Updated: 2009-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:11:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canarii/pseuds/Canarii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Saly Sparrow, one day I fell through a rift and woke up in 1982, am I mad, weeping angel'd, or actually back in time? Either way, the shoulder pads are among us....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schadenfreude

**Author's Note:**

> The first of many small drabbles based off the (shockingly serious) RP verse I played for a while with Saly and the Ashes to Ashes gang while s2 and s3 were airing.

If it helped put into perspective how much stock Gene Hunt put into the records and archival of his teams cases, it should be mentioned that the last photographer to work with them hadn't shown up to work in almost two months. He'd been a bloke named Tony who left his resignation letter on a desk one spring day. The letter was subsequently lost and anyone had yet to notice he was gone.

So when Alex Drake had announced that a crime scene photographer was just what CID needed, and brought forth the small blonde, and former criminal suspect, it hadn't gone over a whole lot better.

When problems inevitably arose, and rise they did, Alex soon found herself the recipient of the complaints, chiefly from Gene Hunt's right hands. Chris, thankfully, never seemed to catch on to the various and sundry snipes at his intelligence that were often tossed around. Ray, on the other hand, was never short of something to bring to Alex's desk concerning young Ms. Sparrow.

Alex wasn't sure what she'd expected, Sally was a very assertive young woman who wasn't above asserting certain DS's fingers in a desk drawer when they wandered. (It hadn't been his shooting hand, so in hindsight Alex had absolutely no problem with this. Someone needed to put Ray in line once in a while) Alex could only imagine what Gene's reaction to that had been, she herself had still been in bed, recovering, on the morning it had happened. If she knew the Guv at all, he'd said something rude to all involved, then trolled off to his office and had a good chuckle to himself. Quite possibly with some scotch. Scratch that, most certainly with some scotch.

On this particular day, after a rather rough night, the DI wasn't half listening to the two men crowded around her desk, swapping complaints in a half whisper. Every once in a while one of them would sneak a glance over his shoulder to where the culprit in question was chatting avidly with Shaz across the room.

"She's trouble in sensible shoes that one." Chris muttered darkly, secretly glad Shaz wasn't around to make him censor himself. Along with DI Drake, she seemed to be the only other person in the department who actually approved of the newest addition to the team. Must be some sort of freaky female thing. Like, cycles syncing up or some such. Bloody scary stuff.

"Yeah, 'ad to chase 'er halfway around the Met before she'd let us stamp 'er arse." Ray added between puffs, coughing slightly as he inhaled some ash with his words. "Crazy bird."

"And then when we tried to hold up our end of the deal, she pinged a bloody penny off Ray's rear!" Chris jumped back in, sounding indignant and hurt, despite the fact that his bum had not been the one to suffer the insult.

Alex sighed heavily, and laid her head in her hands, massaging her temples tenderly and dearly wishing someone could turn out all the lights. "In my defense boys, I didn't even know she owned a slingshot."

 

"Yeah, well you should, shouldn't you, 'living' with 'er and all." Ray coughed out with a filthy grin that read all too clearly as to his not so vague suggestion. Chris didn't seem to notice the innuendo at hand, unsurprisingly.

"You sure that's a good idea, Boss? Gary in archives thinks she's some sort of psycho, 'eard her mumbling to herself downstairs where they keep all the camera equipment and stuff. "

"Oi! Don't forget my 'and." The DS added brusquely.

"And she nearly broke Ray's 'and! What kind of normal woman does that?" Chris added, at a decibel that made Alex flinch in the close quarters.

"Kind of woman does what, baby?"

Alex opened her eyes gingerly just in time to see Chris Skelton jump about three feet in the air, before whipping around to greet his fiancé, goofy grin plastered nervously across his face. WPC Sharon Granger didn’t look particularly convinced, raising a skeptical eyebrow when Chris spit his next words.

“Nothing! Shaza’, just talking about...a case, that’s it.”

“’e thinks your new best mate’s a psycho.” Ray said, unhelpfully, having a good chuckle around the fag smoldering in the corner of his mouth.

“You mean Sally?” Shaz said, looking to Chris to explain himself,

“Said so ‘imself, cause of what she did to my ‘and and all.” Ray interjected, looking all too pleased with himself.

“Shaz, I…”

“Shut up Chris.” The petite WPC said bluntly, turning the evil eye on Ray, “I was there! I saw where your ‘and was, it was completely justified…”

“As fascinating as this all is.” Alex groaned, “is there any chance you could do it elsewhere?” Seeming to notice her for the first time several minutes, all eyes turned to the massively hungover DI curled over her desk.

“Sorry Boss.” Chris muttered quickly, making to slink away, Shaz close behind,

“Don’t you just walk off! You think it’s ok to….”

Alex let her hands slip, her forehead hitting her desk with a dull thump. What she needed now was a case, something to take her mind off the splitting pain in her head, felt like she’d been sh….

“Any particular reason for the circus I just witnessed?” Came from beside her in neat, clipped tones. Alex looked up, blinking against the light to focus on the sight of denim at close range. The aforementioned Sally Sparrow was perched on the edge of Alex’s desk, swinging her feet casually and looking altogether unaware of the affect she had on several of their coworkers.

“How the hell are you so chipper?” Alex grumbled, sitting up straight, reluctantly.

“Oddly enough, I think it’s because I stop drinking after I leave the bar.” Sally replied, “How’s the hangover, or is it not even worth asking?” The slender blonde produced a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers from beside her and planted them in front of Alex. “Figured as much.”

Alex accepted the offerings gratefully, peering at her coworker/roommate over the rim of the glass, “You know, Ray is really not fond of you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” Sally quipped, shortly before a familiar bellow came from the other end of the room.

“Alright then! Drake! Quite whinging and grab your pretty pink sunglasses, Sparrow, get your skinny arse off department property! Ray, fetch my search warrant, we’d ‘ad a call.”

Just another day at the office.


End file.
